Be Still...

I did my first ultrasound when I just started my 6th week.  All they found was a gestational sac, no yolk sac and no pole/heartbeat... I had another ultrasound done yesterday, on the end of my 8th week, and all they found was the gestational sac plus a yolk sac but still no pole... it is now officially time to consider a blighted ovum but still not too late for a completely normal pregnancy as there had been cases of heartbeats being seen on the 9th to 12th week.  I also saw literature that states that if a yolk sac is present then it is not a blighted ovum.  However, we have another concern, a subchrionic hemorrhage has been seen around my gestational sac and it is big.  This is said to be another cause of miscarriages.  

Ynigo has been super excited for the baby... he has been praying to God everyday saying thank You and asking God to make the baby come out na because he wants to see her/him already.  Last night, he hugged and kissed my tummy which he does everyday too and while caressing my tummy suddenly said with a smile, "this is my blessing!" Oh, I felt such a strong tug in my heart.  I thought if this pregnancy does not continue he will surely be heartbroken... isn't he just too young?

God has been faithful and has been supplying me and Jason with hope and I have been holding on to His words, "Be still and know that I am God"-Psalm 46:10.  But seeing Ynigo so in love with the baby already makes me cry...

I can do nothing but wait on Him...  I am fortunate to have a Big God who is bigger than any problem I may face.

Nature Walk, a date with my little one.

 Learning is not confined to the 4 walls of a classroom (or in our case, our house)… learning also takes place in different areas especially since we aim to provide our children the most direct experience they can have with a particular concept.  When we discussed the sense of sight, I then decided to take my little one on a nature walk at UP Diliman.  As we walked around, I asked Ynigo to use his eyes to see the things around him.  We also brought a magnifying glass for him to use in inspecting/observing flowers, plants and insects.  We even touched tree trunks and discussed textures.  Furthermore, we got to discuss about caring for the environment when he noticed that there were no more ducks at the UP Pond.

Afterwards, we sat on a mat in the middle of the grassy area.  I then gave Ynigo sheets of paper and provided him with pens to draw what he saw during our walk together.  He drew plants, cars, insects and a dog too.  After all the work, I brought out snacks and drinks and we enjoyed Ynigo’s favorite part – PICNIC! We stayed at UP for over 2 hours, walking, snacking, observing and playing soccer. 

He then asked me, “Mom, are we (on) a date?”  A huge smile appeared on my face as I replied yes… Hitting two birds with just one stone, it seems.  Not only does a nature walk provide good, direct experiences for my son with nature, we also got to have quality bonding time together that we both got to enjoy (and it did not cost us much, just the snacks).  Bring your kids out and enjoy the simple things in life we tend to take for granted!       

Losing my cool... a no-no!

This morning I did something I am not proud of and truly regret.  I was very busy, trying to finish what I was doing for I was short on time.   Then, Ynigo kept on covering what I was reading with his feet and then later on with his hands.  This was because he wanted to play with me.  But I explained to him that I could not as I had to  finish what I was doing.  Instead of obeying however, he went back to covering what I was reading.  I said please again and asked him not to but to my frustration he did not listen.  I started to feel irritated and to make matters worse, he started tapping on what I was reading.  It was then that I lost my cool... I snapped at him and nudged him away forcefully.  


This surprised my dear little boy and he looked at me with great hurt and sadness, like he was going to cry.  I had to look away and tried to calm myself first.  My heart went out to my little boy who was still sitting o  so stunned.  I immediately prayed and asked for God's forgiveness as I was not the woman and mother that He wanted me  to be.  I then looked at Ynigo, lifted him up  and hugged him tight.  I then said I was very sorry for doing what I did and when I said that, tears immediately fell down his cheeks and he sweetly said, "okay".  As soon as he said this, his tears turned into full blown crying which made me cry too.  I then said, "will you forgive me?" and he immediately, in between sobs, said, "yes, mommy".  We then cried a bit more and prayed together.   He even said in his prayer, "Dear Jesus... thank you for (I) forgiving Mommy..."  Oh, I truly pray that the Lord will help  me the best Mom that I could be.  I should not have snapped at Ynigo, I should have not nudged him, I should have controlled my emotions and most importantly I should have made him feel that he was MORE important to me than what I was  reading...


May I learn from this experience and not do this again.  I thank God for  rebuking me and working in me, may he continue to provide me with 'teachable moments' to prune me.  I thank God for my little boy who is always very forgiving.   May he always be this way.        

OUTDOOR FUN!

Allowing children to explore the outdoors is essential for their holistic growth.  Important concepts can be learned and skills can be developed in the outdoors.  Knowing this, I often encourage my son to interact with the outdoor environment regularly.   That is why, we as a family  truly look forward to our stay in our house in Laguna... we get to bond with nature and each other.  Here are some things you can engage in outdoors,  a  local park or your own backyard:


KITE FLYING - along with developing physical  skills, this activity may help children understand the concept of wind, flying and lightness of objects; may help children in following directions and practicing patience as they wait for their turn or while they find the "perfect" wind.  

BUG HUNTING / CATCHING - Outdoors are filled with treasures for your children to find.  Encouraging you kids to look  for / catch bugs (ants, moths, butterflies, dragonflies) for you to observe together will be very enriching.  Doing this is a great jumping point to more learning such as body parts, ecology, life cycle, etc.      However, I also make it a point to remind Ynigo not to hurt the insects and to let them go after we have observed them.  This will help your children respect all life forms.  

My boys observing their catch

Ynigo trying to catch a dragonfly

Daddy catching an elusive butterfly for Ynigo

  
PLANT OBSERVATION - I also encourage Ynigo to observe plants and flowers around him; making sure he uses as many of his senses as possible.  His favorite is the Makahiya.  He loves making them close.  

Ynigo's favorite Makahiya Plant

GAMES like  Hide and  Seek and Races - Outdoors is truly a time to  use those muscles and build endurance and strength.  Ynigo loves playing Hide and seek and Racing the most.  At times he joins his father  in basketball too.  He also plays golf and soccer at the fields.   

Racing with Daddy

Basketball with Daddy... sometimes Mommy joins too

You may also do PICNICS and ART ACTIVITIES while outdoors (I will show pictures on my next blog on these).

Have fun outdoors, everyone!     

Play builds essential skills!

I would just like to share an article from npr.org that I think parents should read.  I am an advocate of play-based education and would like others to realize that the "old-fashioned play" is the most effective in building skills essential to a child's future development.  You may view this article at http://www.npr.org

February 21, 2008

Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills (by Alix Sp

On October 3, 1955, the Mickey Mouse Club debuted on television. As we all now know, the show quickly became a cultural icon, one of those phenomena that helped define an era.

What is less remembered but equally, if not more, important, is that another transformative cultural event happened that day: The Mattel toy company began advertising a gun called the "Thunder Burp."

I know — who's ever heard of the Thunder Burp?

Well, no one.

The reason the advertisement is significant is because it marked the first time that any toy company had attempted to peddle merchandise on television outside of the Christmas season. Until 1955, ad budgets at toy companies were minuscule, so the only time they could afford to hawk their wares on TV was during Christmas. But then came Mattel and the Thunder Burp, which, according to Howard Chudacoff, a cultural historian at Brown University, was a kind of historical watershed. Almost overnight, children's play became focused, as never before, on things — the toys themselves.

"It's interesting to me that when we talk about play today, the first thing that comes to mind are toys," says Chudacoff. "Whereas when I would think of play in the 19th century, I would think of activity rather than an object."

Chudacoff's recently published history of child's play argues that for most of human history what children did when they played was roam in packs large or small, more or less unsupervised, and engage in freewheeling imaginative play. They were pirates and princesses, aristocrats and action heroes. Basically, says Chudacoff, they spent most of their time doing what looked like nothing much at all.

"They improvised play, whether it was in the outdoors... or whether it was on a street corner or somebody's back yard," Chudacoff says. "They improvised their own play; they regulated their play; they made up their own rules."

But during the second half of the 20th century, Chudacoff argues, play changed radically. Instead of spending their time in autonomous shifting make-believe, children were supplied with ever more specific toys for play and predetermined scripts. Essentially, instead of playing pirate with a tree branch they played Star Wars with a toy light saber. Chudacoff calls this the commercialization and co-optation of child's play — a trend which begins to shrink the size of children's imaginative space.

But commercialization isn't the only reason imagination comes under siege. In the second half of the 20th century, Chudacoff says, parents became increasingly concerned about safety, and were driven to create play environments that were secure and could not be penetrated by threats of the outside world. Karate classes, gymnastics, summer camps — these create safe environments for children, Chudacoff says. And they also do something more: for middle-class parents increasingly worried about achievement, they offer to enrich a child's mind.

Change in Play, Change in Kids

Clearly the way that children spend their time has changed. Here's the issue: A growing number of psychologists believe that these changes in what children do has also changed kids' cognitive and emotional development.

It turns out that all that time spent playing make-believe actually helped children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

We know that children's capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn't stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at Mid-Continent Research for Education and Learning says, the results were very different.

"Today's 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today's 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago," Bodrova explains. "So the results were very sad."

Sad because self-regulation is incredibly important. Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child's IQ. Children who are able to manage their feelings and pay attention are better able to learn. As executive function researcher Laura Berk explains, "Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain."

The Importance of Self-Regulation

According to Berk, one reason make-believe is such a powerful tool for building self-discipline is because during make-believe, children engage in what's called private speech: They talk to themselves about what they are going to do and how they are going to do it.

"In fact, if we compare preschoolers' activities and the amount of private speech that occurs across them, we find that this self-regulating language is highest during make-believe play," Berk says. "And this type of self-regulating language... has been shown in many studies to be predictive of executive functions."

And it's not just children who use private speech to control themselves. If we look at adult use of private speech, Berk says, "we're often using it to surmount obstacles, to master cognitive and social skills, and to manage our emotions."

Unfortunately, the more structured the play, the more children's private speech declines. Essentially, because children's play is so focused on lessons and leagues, and because kids' toys increasingly inhibit imaginative play, kids aren't getting a chance to practice policing themselves. When they have that opportunity, says Berk, the results are clear: Self-regulation improves.

"One index that researchers, including myself, have used... is the extent to which a child, for example, cleans up independently after a free-choice period in preschool," Berk says. "We find that children who are most effective at complex make-believe play take on that responsibility with... greater willingness, and even will assist others in doing so without teacher prompting."

Despite the evidence of the benefits of imaginative play, however, even in the context of preschool young children's play is in decline. According to Yale psychological researcher Dorothy Singer, teachers and school administrators just don't see the value.

"Because of the testing, and the emphasis now that you have to really pass these tests, teachers are starting earlier and earlier to drill the kids in their basic fundamentals. Play is viewed as unnecessary, a waste of time," Singer says. "I have so many articles that have documented the shortening of free play for children, where the teachers in these schools are using the time for cognitive skills."

It seems that in the rush to give children every advantage — to protect them, to stimulate them, to enrich them — our culture has unwittingly compromised one of the activities that helped children most. All that wasted time was not such a waste after all.

Boys can play with dolls too!

I walked in on my son playing with his doll, (who he calls baby Angelo).  He was kissing the baby, talking softly to him and was rocking and lifting him.  He then removed baby Angelo's clothes saying that his dirty and pretended to dress him up again.  As I saw my little boy playing with Angelo, I remembered something that I often heard, "BOYS SHOULD NOT PLAY WITH DOLLS."

Why shouldn't boys play with dolls?

I have encountered a number of parents who do not allow their sons to play with dolls and other similar toys.  Dolls are not gender specific.  In fact, I have read a couple of articles that explains that allowing young boys to play with dolls is actually beneficial to their development.

What we fail to realize is that playing with dolls require a number of things like, imagination, care, nurture, and empathy.  Boys can and should be encouraged to play with dolls and play house.  Try it, it might help your child prepare for the arrival of a younger sibling, care for a younger classmate or school mate or even prepare him to be a nurturing father someday.  

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Fearfully and wonderfully made, this is what we all are.  God created each and everyone of us with great care and love.  He knows each of us by name and knows even the exact number of hairs on our heads.  To help Ynigo know who he is, Jason led a family devotions which centred on the verse, 

                 I am fearfully and wonderfully made. - Psalm 139:14           

We then decided on actions to use to make memorizing the verse easier.  Jason then explained this verse to Ynigo.  Afterwards, I made Ynigo look at himself on the mirror, identify the parts that God made and then asked him to draw a portrait of him.  

To supplement, we taught Ynigo the song, "God Made Me" which he truly enjoyed and would sing even without accompaniment.